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September 5, 2010
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Learning from my mistakes - 11.03.2008 - Article Number: 2

Shortcut
Since I only came into a vital relationship with God, when I was already an adult myself, I naturally questioned if I could give my children a short cut. I had wasted so much time and energy, before getting to any purposeful pursuits, that I desired to help my children not make the same mistakes. I cannot help recall what my father often said when I was a youth at home: He said: “I could give you a thirty-year-shortcut, my child, if you’d only let me!” Apparently it didn’t work with me.

Salvation
The first and foremost thing that bugged me, was the issue of being saved! Yes, I know many, many theological questions come into it, and I cannot begin to solve them all, or even wish to. For me, once I became convinced that we all need to be saved, or need to have a secure future, naturally the highest priority was, that my children should have the same secure future. Now I know I really needed a Savior! I had not committed murder or anything like that, but my heart convinced me I had not kept ALL God’s commandments, and that makes me guilty according to the Bible, of breaking ALL God’s commandments! I had my own share of faults and wrong choices in my past. I had no intention to let my children try all the bad stuff first, in order to create a reason to repent! I happen to believe the scripture that says: “for ALL have sinned and come short the glory of God”. I also grew up surrounded by the truth of God’s Word, but amazingly, that truth had not set me free until after I had turned twenty-one! I was determined for it not to happen to my children! I was only too aware of how easily things could have turned out differently for me, and I also saw too many others, of my age who didn’t get to the wonderful salvation that I did. I was simply not prepared to take any chances with my children, on this!

The big problem was, this did not seem to be an issue that could be solved through shear determination, or by merely trying. I needed a much more secure strategy. I cannot say I didn’t agonize over this considerably. Yes, it has got to be a mighty work of God Himself in their hearts, but in as much as we have a role to play, I had to make sure the shortfall was NOT on my side. Now I also knew from much evidence that trying too hard or in the wrong way, could only have a converse effect. I have often stood amazed after all the elements that were in place in my childhood, that I didn’t turn to God much earlier and how it could have been possible for me to so resist Him and His love, after all I had been given me! It seemed to me that every single thing I could come up with, to bring up godly children, was in my childhood! I guess my long resistance is simple evidence of the sinful streak in human nature.

So far I am now convinced of the following:
(1) Children can understand sin and repent FOR REAL, at a very early age, (as young as two years), and have it stick! We should NOT postpone just cause we think they need some more “worldly experience” in order to truly “REPENT”. They cannot be left to experience EVERYHTING and then make up their OWN minds! That is the craziest idea I have yet heard people come up with! If you refuse to tell and show them the truth, the Devil will, and so will the world and countless others. The problem is, it will NOT be the truth, but it will be presented as such. They will be left deceived, and end up having to pay eternally for your mistake! Unless you tell and show them the truth, in fact they won’t know any better. Nor can you present everything as equal value, in the hope that they will then decide for themselves! They need your ultimate guideline from Gods absolute value to make sense of things. These things NEVER just come by themselves! Anything left to itself, WILL deteriorate, that is the law of sin and death! It will rule over them if you let it!
(2) They will catch whatever we have. We cannot pretend on this issue. If my personal relationship with God is not priority, or if it is mere drudgery, that is what children will get. They will either hate and reject it or embrace it based on what it is they get from us! If there are things between me and God that are not attractive, it will have the same repelling effect on them! I happen to believe what the Bible says about God and relating to Him, that He is altogether beautiful and that He and relating to Him is ultimately appealing. That once we truly encounter Him, we are eternally spoiled for anything else. Therefore to get to that, instead of a misunderstanding where I might be stuck at for the moment, is vital for my relationship with God! That is also vital in order to pass the real thing on to children, and not a “mistake” that will put them off from God!
(3) We can and should make a difference in our children’s lives. We have a mandate before God, more that that, we will have to give account to God of what we did and didn’t do to make sure they also inherit His promises. We can, and need to get from God specific and unique vision for each child and pray that and keep on praying that! There is no shortcut for that! It is bound to make a greater difference than all the words spoken to them!

Therefore to pray and keep on praying and then a most generous dose of Grace and Mercy from God Himself, is required.




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Jo
If we want to learn from our mistakes, we have to watch out we don't end up letting our children pay for our mistakes instead! We could be in reaction! Or trying to make them do what we didn't!
11.06.2008

Guy
If you teach kids how to succeed, they will have a good self image!
11.06.2008

BigSal
I agree with Jo, we should learn from our mistakes, not let our children suffer for it because we never got over it! But I think self image doesn't really come into it, and self image comes from charcter, which comes from pushing thru when things are tough Self Image I think cannot be taught, it's caught - when we do things that are difficult
11.15.2008

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